Should I Get a Divorce in Bellevue, WA?

September 24, 2020

If you are contemplating a divorce, you are very likely to continue circling back to the question of whether you should get a divorce. The hard, cold truth is that no one can answer this question for you. Fortunately, however, there are some guidelines that can help you make the best decision for you. If questions remain, reach out to an experienced Seattle divorce attorney. Far from attempting to convince you to divorce, a reputable, experienced divorce lawyer will help you carefully consider what a divorce would likely mean for you and whether saving your marriage could be a better option.

Do You Still Have Strong Feelings for Your Spouse?

An important sign that you may be ready for divorce is if you no longer have strong feelings for your spouse. If you’re coming at the question of whether or not you need a divorce as if it were a business proposition, that’s a good sign that a divorce may be in order. If, instead, considering the question leaves you emotionally torn, you might want to put your efforts into saving your marriage.

Consider Your Motivations

Carefully think about the reasons that you’re contemplating the idea of divorce. If it’s because you have a sinking feeling that you’re delaying the inevitable, that’s one thing. If it’s for any of the following reasons, counseling is likely a better option:

  • You’re attempting to alarm your spouse and get him or her to work on your marriage with you (in other words, you’re going for a wake-up call).
  • You’re motivated by anger and/or frustration.
  • You’re attempting to get back at your spouse for something he or she has done.
  • You’re hoping your spouse will begin to see things your way.

If you’re using the prospect of divorce as a threat, your marriage is likely worth fighting for. Any motivation other than ending the marriage likely means that you’re looking for change – not a divorce.

Have You Stopped Thinking in Terms of We?

If you approach your life in terms of I instead of We, you may have already left your marriage emotionally. A marriage counselor can help you explore this question more fully, but a marriage that doesn’t leave you automatically thinking about both of you may not be worth saving.

Have You Tried Counseling?

You’re considering the possibility of divorce, which means your marriage is not perfect. The fact is that few, if any, marriages are. Marriage – just like any other successful partnership – can take a considerable amount of effort. If you haven’t availed yourself of what couples counseling has to offer, you haven’t yet explored all of your options. If you and your spouse are both willing to try counseling and to really give it your all, your marriage is worth your efforts to save it.

Have You Considered the Ramifications of Divorce?

It’s easy to think – from the inside looking out – that divorce is going to provide you with a fresh start, and this may seem quite inviting when you’re in the thick of things. What you may not have spent much time thinking about are the actual consequences of divorce, including:

  • Divorce will upend your children’s lives.
  • Divorce will almost certainly leave you less well off financially.
  • There is a very good chance that divorce will require you and your children to find a new home that is more affordable.
  • You will have to divide your time with your children with your ex.
  • Divorce can leave you feeling unmoored and unable to move forward.
  • You may be facing a considerable amount of counseling to move past the difficult emotions that are often associated with divorce.

The fact is that divorce is very unlikely to solve all your problems and maybe just a way to bypass the issue that’s at the core of your unhappiness. If you aren’t sure, take some time to explore your feelings and motivations with a counselor with whom you are comfortable opening up.

An Experienced Bellevue Divorce Lawyer Can Help

The dedicated divorce lawyers at Aberdeen Family Law in Bellevue understand that divorce is never an easy decision and are dedicated to helping you find the answers to your questions. To learn more, please don’t hesitate to contact or call us at (425) 363-9877  today.

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